I just finished listening to this message by Carolyn Mahaney, and it was such an encouraging "shot in the arm" for me - just what I've been needing to hear. According to Titus 2, we as women are required to love our children... and Mrs. Mahaney points out that scripture is commanding older women to teach the younger women to love their children with a warm and tender affection.
I don't know about anyone else, but that hits me pretty hard... Sacrificially give up my desires for the good of my children? Check. Spend every moment of their waking hours tending to and training them? Check. Pare down my beauty routine to the bare minimum so I have extra time to spend on kid stuff? Check. Do it all in a spirit of warm, tender affection?.... er... not so much. If, like myself, you struggle with simply loving and cherishing your children and your time with them - this message will renew your vision, refresh your purpose, and be a healing balm to your spirit.
And just to whet your appetite, here are some highlights that I jotted down from the message:
"It isn't rare to meet a woman who sacrifices for her children and daily lays down her life FOR her children. Women are good at that kind of love.
However, it is more uncommon to meet a woman who thoroughly enjoys her children, takes pleasure in her children, loves being a mother, and relates to them with a warm tender affection."
"Because of the reality of indwelling sin in our hearts, we will sin against our children, yet the comforting thing is that God's grace is big enough to cover the effect of our sin on the lives of our children. There is no situation too horrible that was created by our sin that He can't redeem it for our good and for His glory."
"Asking one anothers forgiveness should be a regular occurance in our homes because when you have a group of sinners living together 24 hours a day 365 days a year there are bound to be plenty of opportunities for that to happen."
"How we think about our children will sooner or later determine what we say and what we do.If we primarily think of them as work and sacrifice we will convey that in our speech and in our actions. If we are thinking about children as a gift, a reward, a blessing; it will make the work and sacrifice a joyful experience rather than a burden."
"After our relationship with Christ and with our husbands, our children should know that there is no one we prize more than them.This should be evident in our speech, our attitude, and our behavior - when they approach me do they get my full attention and interest or do they feel like an interruption?"
"Ways we can show our children that we prize and cherish them:
Faithful intercession - there is an annointing that we have as wives and mothers to pray for our children. no one else can pray for them more intelligently and compassionately.
Sympathetic understanding - our children need us to comfort them, encourage them, understand them.
Attentive listening - give them our full attention, don't interrupt, respond graciously, remain attentive
Rapt interest in their thoughts, feelings, and experiences
Enthusiastic encouragement - consistently encourage them with evidences of grace that we see in their lives
Physical affection and verbal communications of love - should be happening ALL the time in our homes."
"Are we thoroughly enjoying our children RIGHT NOW at whatever age they may be and whatever phase they may be going through, or we looking forward to when they will be older or outgrow this present phase?"
"Are we truly delighting in motherhood or are we biding our time longing for the day when we can move on to something 'more significant'?"
"Given the sacrifice and hard work that accompanies motherhood its not uncommon to grow weary, to lose our joy, and to come up short in having vision for this call.
If you're not enjoying your children, if you're lacking vision for your role as a mother; may I appeal to you to take whatever measure is necessary to change?
Maybe like me you need to start with repentance. And then I would encourage you to do a study in God's Word. I would encourage you to read some good books on this subject, and even find a mature woman who obviously enjoys her role as a mother to encourage you and to pray for you and to hold you accountable during this season of your life... Because it's so important that we maintain vision for our role as mothers."
"We need to enjoy the help of the Holy Spirit in our mothering task.
It's my job to seek to impart truth, but I can't reveal truth... only the Holy Spirit can reveal truth.
It is my job to point out sin and require obedience, but I can't bring conviction of sin - only the Holy Spirit can convict of sin.
It's my job to share the gospel with my children, but I can't reveal the gospel to my children - only the Holy Spirit can reveal the truth of the gospel.
We can plant and we can water in the lives of our children, but we cannot make them to grow - only the Holy Spirit can do that.
Our problem, or the spoiler of joy for mothers, is that we tend to depend upon our planting and our watering rather than the Lord.
I cannot accomplish anything of a spiritual and eternal value in the lives of my children apart from the work of the Holy Spirit in their lives. Knowing that doesn't minimize my role - it just alleviates a whole lot of pressure that God never meant for me to carry.
I still need to build my house with wisdom as Proverbs 14:1 speaks of. I need to do all I can to advocate Godly character, I need to make every effort to create an environment that encourages a passion for God. I need to hem them in with righteousness, if you will, but ultimately it is the Holy Spirit who will reveal truth and ignite passion.
I simply need to enjoy His work in their lives."